Archive for January, 2009

I thought this was funny.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

P.S. It isn’t real.

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The Middle East is a place where all your wildest dreams can come true. That’s right. Wildest. Dreams. Come. True. Shut. Up. Now.

The Middle East is an amazing place. There are lots of farms. Huge farms. The people all kinda talk different. And the Mississippi River runs through it. Wait….what? Oh, I got confused with the Midwest. My bad.

Back to the Middle East. There are some sweet countries there. Israel, Jordan (baker), Iraq, Iran, United Arab Emirates, Saudia Arabia, Egypt (sorta), and a slew of other Bad mama jama countries. They do things a little but different than us, but we do seem to have a couple things in common. I am gonna make a sweet A list of those things.

1. Ghost Ride The Whip
We all like to Ghost Ride the Whip. That’s ride. Ghost ride the whip. For those of you who don’t know what that is click here. or here. Well, Jews and Muslims also love to Ghost Ride The Whip. Click here for some Middle Eastern Ghost Riding.

2. Drifting
I remember back in the good ole days of 2008 when I’d take the Neon out for a good drift. What? You are over 30 and don’t know what drifting is? Click here. Drifting is becoming more and more popular by the second. All over the lower 48 states, teenagers and twenty-somethings alike are out drifting their cars, trucks, vans, etc. all over your beautifully paved asphalt. You might think, while watching Hamas taking a beating on the evening news, “I wish that these poor poor Middle Eastern people had the same opportunities we have………to drift to their heart’s content.” Well idiots, they do. Check check check it out. Now that we got that Beastie Boys clip out of the way, you can watch some Arab drifting. Click here. Amazing!! Here is some more Arab drifting (you gotta click this one).

3. Skating while holding on to Cars (skitching).
There is nothing more American than holding on to cars while skating/skateboarding. Well, at least that is what you thought til I finally cultured you ignorant sloths today. Click here for some good ole American past time skating. Now, the Middle Eastern folk have been paying attention to Western society for quiet sometime and have mastered the art of Skating Next to cars. Click here if you dare.

4. Spinning Buildings.
I am from Washington State. It is better than your state. I don’t care where you are from. So shut it. First of all, we don’t have idiot drivers like the empty headed dolts in Utah (see previous blog). Secondly, we have a rotating building. CLICK HERE TO SEE IT IN ALL IT’S GLORY. Now click here to see it spinnnnnnn. The Middle Eastern folk are all over that like my cousin Brad on any type of food. They are building an even sweeter one as we speak!!! Check it here. Now, I realize The Russians are building one too, but you know what?……we got the Red October. Suckers.

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I was about to leave work, but I tried to stand up and my foot was asleep. So, I decided to post.
Mitch’s Post inspired me to name one thing that I hate.

1. Utah Drivers

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