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Archive for June, 2011

Beardalicious

Since I spend a good majority of my time away from society, I have decided to grow a beard. Yeah. I’m focusing all my energy that I had previously focused on dating to growing a beard. A beard will appreciate me for who I am inside anyway. It won’t treat me like a piece of meat! Now, I have attempted to do this many times before and have come pretty close to growing what could be defined as a beard.

My beard at its peak (2010).........until now.

As you can see in exhibit A that beard isn’t that sweet. I have a cousin named Jake who grows a sweet beard. May I present to the jury Exhibit B.

Jake using all his willpower not to kill a speaker in church.

This is Jake and his beard is beyond awesome (and this isn’t even the peak of this beard’s awesomeness). Now Jake and I have some of the same genes so I know I can achieve beard nirvana one day. The key is to have patience and lots of manliness running through my veins like a stampede of wild buffalo aka tatanka.

I was feeling my beard today while thinking about all the potential it has and day dreaming about what it one day may become, just as a father thinks about what his child will grow to be in the future. My beard is my child. My legacy. My hope. My glory. As I pondered, the heavens opened up and this is what I saw:

Half-Mexican Leonidas or Half-Mexican Osama bin Laden. You choose.

Anyway. So I was pondering on the great eternal question “how can my beard be the best that it can be?” when I decided to consult the person that knows everything–the internet. The internet sent me to a couple sites that enlightened me to a better way of being.

The first site was The Beard Coach. I learned a lot about the importance of beards in society and the role they play in helping the average person distinguish between lame-o’s and super awesome manly dudes. The author is politically active and has written the president about how beards can help this country. There are also some rad pics of beards from recent beard contests.

The second site was www.biggerbetterbeards.org which lists 10 reasons why we should grow big beards. I really like number 7 the most because I love and care my friends (and family). I just want them to be safe and that is part of the reason I have undertaken this challenge to grow a bigger better beard. I just want my friends to be able to see their future children and look them in the eyes and tell them they love them.

Third site from Esquire gives us classification of different types of facial hair. Kingdom, phylum/division, class, order, family, genus, species. We need to know these things to be able to group and categorize beards by biological type. It’s for humanity’s own good.

The last site is beards.org. A great site that has tips on how to groom and color your beard, success stories, questions and galleries of beards.

Now, all of you guys that can’t grow beards and think that people might think you’re less manly–its ok. You are less manly, but you can overcome that by lying to everyone and saying you are Native American. They are bad A and they can’t grow facial hair.

Crazy Horse will kill you if you mess with him......and he doesn't even have a beard.

Let us all join hands and pray that my beard will turn out as I envisioned. Thank you.

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I’ve been working for the Anasazi Foundation for the past month or so. It has been an awesome experience that is kinda hard for me to describe to peeps. Anyway. There is a lot of Native American influence in the program and has led me to read and watch random things about Native American culture. I’ve watched Last of the Mohicans and Pocahontas in the last week so basically I’m learning a lot. Hawkeye is a ladies man with sexy flowing hair and Pocahontas dives off of 200 ft. cliffs with grace, class, style, finesse and debonair.

Since I spend most of my time off doing absolutely nothing I have lots of time to “think” and “ponder”. I took a history class a couple of semesters ago and for part of it we learned about the Ghost Dance that took place in the late 1800’s. Now, if you are not Mormon this might not interest you that much. Just sayin.

This Ghost Dance, or Spirit Dance, was a phenomenon that sort of made its way through all the western Native American tribes all the way to the Great Plains tribes. They would dance in a circle, chant and wear special garments that had special markings on them and spiritual power. A lot of people thought that Mormons had started this Spirit Dance because they had similar practices.

I was doing some “research” and ran across this little doozy:

At least five different Indians claimed supernatural visitations telling them to join the Mormons. The experience of one Indian in
Skull Valley in the summer of 1872 was typical. He claimed that while he was sitting in his lodge, three strangers who looked like Indians visited him and said the Mormons’ God was the true God and the father of the Indians. Find the Mormons and have them baptize you, these strangers said, for “the time was at hand for the Indians to gather, and stop their Indian life, and learn to cultivate the earth and build houses, and live in them.” Then the stranger showed him a vision of all the “northern country and Bear River and Malad” where many Indians were growing many fine crops with a few whites showing the Indians how (Hill 1877, 11).
Several hundred Indians accepted these messages as divine and subsequently joined the Mormon faith. Apostle Orson Pratt believed the holy messengers were the Three Nephites mentioned in the Book of Mormon. “We have heard of some fourteen hundred Indians who have been baptized, ask them why they have come so many hundred miles to find Elders of the Church and they will reply — ‘Such a person came to us, he spoke in our language, instructed us and told us what to do, and we have come in order to comply with his requirements’ ” (JD 17:299-300).

I found that in “The Mormons and The Ghost Dance” by Lawrence G. Coates. You can read the whole thing here.

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Howdy

I just got done reading my mom’s blog and then my dad’s blog and I thought that I should get back into the writing game.

I guess I enjoy blogging so people know a little about what goes on in my head and what I am up to in my life. Also, it’s a little therapeutic being able to type stuff out. Helps me reflect on what I am doing with my life.

I moved to Arizona a couple weeks ago. I didn’t really tell too many people. I don’t really know why I didn’t, but that is how things worked out. I moved down here to work for the Anasazi Foundation. Here is the link if you are interested in finding out what they do. I’ll give you a hint: It’s a wilderness survival therapy program.

Enough of that. I live in Mesa town and it’s fairly warm here. It has only snowed 8 times since I’ve been here so that’s a plus.

Just kiddin about the snow.

I don’t have a TV here and I didn’t have internet for the first little bit so that has given me a little bit more time to use my brain that I would had I had those things available to me. Sometimes I hate using my brain because that requires me to actually be a person rather than a drone that just goes through life not accomplishing much.

Due to the recent brain activity that has been going on inside my skull, I’ve been able to ponder on a lot of important things in my life. One of those things is relationships that I have with people. I was able to attend an Arbinger Institute meeting/seminar/lecture/all of the above about 2 weeks ago that kind of laid out how relationships with people work. Now, I’m not talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about just day to day interactions we have with family members, friends, acquaintances, strangers, neighbors, dudes, homies, enemies, chicks, etc. The Arbinger Institute was founded by a cat named C. Terry Warner. Maybe you’ve heard of him, maybe you haven’t. Anywho. Basically it talked about how we can view people as objects or as actual people.

Now, when I say we view people as objects, what I mean is that we can view them as an obstacle in our path, or a vehicle to what we want to get, or just plain insignificant. When we view them as people, we recognize that they have fears, hopes, needs, etc. I don’t want to get too deep into this so I can safely say that those are the basics. The distinction is deeper than the behavior too. For example, I can compliment someone in order to make them feel good or I can compliment someone in order to get something out of it.

I feel that too often I try to be nice to people in order to benefit myself. It ain’t honest and it ain’t right. Maybe those people don’t take it that way, but in my own heart I know I’m wrong. I just want you all to know that I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to do better at treating you like people instead of objects. Just let me know when I’m messin up! Gracias, obgrigado and thanks.

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