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Archive for September, 2011

11 September 2001

This was probably one of the craziest weeks of my life. I was a 16 year old junior in high school attending Big Bend in the Running Start program. Because I was going to Big Bend, we started school at the end of September. ¬†The rest of the Moses Lake School District had already started so I basically just hung out with my friends that went to Big Bend too (not hard to do seeing that all my friends went there). A couple of us decided to go camping up towards Sun Lakes, WA. (I don’t want to give names, so I will give nicknames in case these people get riled up that I am telling this story. Back to the story). So, it was Hambone, Raptor, Vanilla Ice, Hudervante, LeBron James and me heading up to Sun Lakes. (EDITORS NOTE: Everyone please keep in mind that this was 16 years ago when I was just a little bit more dumb than I am now. But only a little.)

C'mon. There is no way this kid could do non stupid things.

We rode up in Vanilla Ice’s sweet blue Buick or something like that. It was a sexy grandma car we were in (now you are probably wonderin ‘did he mean a car that sexy grandmas drive? or a sexy car that grandmas drive?’ or maybe you don’t care either way). It was only Vanilla Ice, Hudervante, LeBron and I in the car and the other two had driven up before us in a little white pickup. Vanilla Ice, Hambone and Raptor were a couple years older than the rest of us. Keep that in mind. So, Hudervante and I found some fireworks in Vanilla Ice’s car and started trying to light them and put them in his ash tray in the back. They wouldn’t light though and Vanilla Ice was gettin ticked so we stopped. We got to Sun Lakes and decided to stay at this KOA type place. The dude runnin the joint was like, “You boys better be careful. There is a wild wind that comes out of the canyon at night and can be powerful.” Sure, whatever dude. We are in High School. We obviously know more than you.

We set up camp and start cookin ribs in a aluminum cake pan? or something like that. Not smart because as we were cookin them, we burnt a hole in the bottom and the grease leaked out and started this crazy grease fire. We thought about dumping all kinds of water on it to put it out, but decided to let it burn out. Both very smart ideas. We started playin cards by lamp light and then WHOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHH. The wind came. We packed everything up in the truck and car and took off. I remember we got a refund even.

For some reason we had purchased a bunch of eggs before going camping. We had to get rid of the surplus so as we drove through Soap Lake, Raptor, Hudervante, and I threw away the surplus. I think some might have hit some innocent cars and signs. Vanilla Ice was in his car, Lebron and Hambone were in the truck and Raptor, Hudervante and I were in the back of the truck. We got outside of Soap Lake and were at a Stop sign. We tried to hit it and almost hit a cop car that was driving by. Hambone was driving and figured he saw us so, he took off. We were flying down some back road from Soap Lake to Highway 17, going over 100 mph, trying to out run a cop. We were pretty sure we saw cop lights too, but who knows.

We got into town near Skyline Mini golf to regroup and figure out what we were gonna do now. We decided we should go to the sand dunes just south of town. We saddled up and headed out towards south end to camp. We parked Vanilla Ice’s car on the road and drove the truck down towards the lake. We all got out and were wanderin around lookin for where to camp when the 3 older idiots got in the car and drove off, leaving Hudervante, Lebron and I. JERKS!!! This was before everyone had cell phones with them all the time, so we just sat in the darkness. We were pretty ticked that these guys would leave us out there alone and, so, to get back at them, we peed on Vanilla Ice’s car. That’ll show them!! That lasted only a few minutes though. We needed something to keep our minds entertained. We wandered down by the water and stood there staring. Something long and bumpy popped out of the water, then submerged and then popped out again and started to move. I swear to this day that we saw an alligator or crocodile. I SWEAR!! We also saw a set of glowing eyes out in the distance. We started to wonder whether those guys were gonna come back or not when, all of a sudden, the showed up with a truck full of wooden pallets. We unloaded them and made another trip to get more. Luckily for us, some local businesses were willing to donate them to our cause. We had about 25 pallets in all and decided to light em up and watch em burn. It was a pretty big fire, so naturally we decided to dance around it and say silly things like “YOUR HOUSE IS NEXT!!!” and other random stuff.

The flame was huge and we were pretty sure you could see it from the Peninsula. So, scared that someone would call the cops, we took off, leaving the sand dunes the back way driving by the state park. We got on the bridge and could see ¬†flames from there. Don’t worry. We got it on film if you don’t believe me.

It was about 4ish, maybe, and we decided we needed to find a place to sleep. We wanted to sleep on the lawn at the Seminary building in order to get lots of attention, but we decided against it. We decided on Montlake Park (where everyone makes out and, yes, I’ve caught a bunch of you smoochers personally. Good times). Hudervante slept upside down on the slide and the rest of us slept on the bark. We woke up to a dog licking Hambone’s face. Kinda gross. We were exhausted so we went home. I walk into my house with either Hudervante or Lebron. I don’t remember which, but my dad says something like this:

Dad: We are being bombed!!!!
Me: What?
Dad: They have attacked the World Trade Centers and the Pentagon
Me: What the crap are you talking about?
Dad: Just turn on the TV and look!!
Me: Alright

And then I spend the rest of the day watching 9/11 happen.

The rest of the week followed with me getting into a fight at school, breaking a kids nose, getting suspended from school and from football for a week, getting into ANOTHER fight the day after that one (more like me getting jumped and not fighting) and then sitting out a football game.

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