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Archive for the ‘Running Diary’ Category

School has started again (had spring break) and with that the inevitable blog post that comes with procrastination.

A few weeks ago, Jason Alexander came to UVU. A running diary ensued.

5:09 p.m. – After debating for about an hour, I decided to skip class to get good seats for “An Evening with Jason Alexander”. This is what I pay tuition for, right? Show starts at 7.

5:11 – A quick Wikipedia search will show that his real name isn’t George Costanza errr Jason Alexander, but Jason Scott Greenspan. Jason Scott Greenspan is Jason Alexander is George Costanza is Larry David. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty interesting.

5:17 – Crowd is starting to show up. Apparently Bill Nye came here last year? They keep talking about when he came.  Also, they are talking about Seinfeld episodes like we haven’t all seen them a million times. You people don’t even know each other. Quit being friendly.

5:20 – I’m waiting for my friend Brad to show up. I hope he shows up and tells these noobs to stop quoting Seinfeld. If anyone were to put down these fools, it would be CrzBooRad.

5:23 – The seats are in row 8. Should probably move up a row in honor of George and his future child, Seven. Oh hell, they are watching video clips now.

5:33 – Brad showed up. Now we can fight off these idiots with our blog posts making fun of them.

5:46 – Killin time by listening to “Over the Hills and Far Away” by Led Zeppelin. Got to get the Led out before this show starts.

6:09 – Girl in the 3rd row has a Vandelay Industries shirt on. I didn’t know that really existed.

6:13 – Brad hasn’t stopped looking at his phone since he got here. I don’t blame him–I’m horrible company. He’s probably just checking out the Tiger Wood’s Swing app. Or texting babes.

6:15 – Little do you guys know that Brad’s dad is very similar to a certain Seinfeld character.

6:25 – Some dude just walked by me smelling like pee. I’m jealous of his total disregard for social norms.

6:40 – Well, my math class just got out. I bet they are jealous of me and my seats. That’s what they get for trying to learn.

6:46 – Please let Larry David introduce Jason Alexander. I deserve it.

6:52 – So close.

6:53 – George Costanza has to be a hero to bald people everywhere. Bald people get discriminated against and my friend Corbin can attest to that.

6:59 – Trying to decide if he should get a standing ovation or not. What if this is Michael Jordan vs. Bryon Russell Part II and George doesn’t show up? Instead, it’s Wayne Knight?!?

7:04 – They haven’t started yet. Brad is about to leave.

Me: “Why haven’t they started yet?”

Brad: “Nobody treats Brad Earl this way! Brad Earl is about to leave!”

7:14 – George in the house! Time for Feats of Strength! Also, he got a standing ovation. Gave me chills.

7:15 – The girl giving the introduction called Jason “very attractive and intensely sexy.” Honestly, that is the only way to describe him.

7:17 – The school apparently put together a montage of his work. Some play stuff, some commercials, tv shows, Disney movies.

7:20 – Two standing ovations!

7:21 – “I’ve prepared absolutely nothing.” Yes!

7:24 – “I was born a poor black child in the same hospital as Whitney Houston. Rest her soul.”

7:26 – “I was a very serious magician when I was 6 years old…I was also 220 lbs. at age 8.”

7:28 – “There is no sight more horrendous than an obese child.”

7:34 – “The script of ‘Pretty Woman’ is completely different from the movie.” Explained how it was supposed to be a dark movie, but turned out to be the romantic comedy it is today.

7:40 – Telling his story about how he got on to Seinfeld. Epic.

7:42 – Story about seeing Larry David at a stand-up comedy club. Little did he know.

7:46 – “Seinfeld tested horribly. Worst testing in the history of television comedy.”

7:48 – “They put us on after Cheers in the 3rd season. The first episode that showed was the Contest.” Classic.

7:50 – “There is no time in anybody’s life where they go, ‘I need an actor.’” So, true.

7:52 – I think Brad is in love.

7:54 – So, he is going to have 2 students get up and do monologues and he is gonna critique them. Those students got rocks. Rocks!

7:57 – “Actors are lazy.” He talked about how actors act for themselves when you should be acting to help the other actors/actresses in the scene with you. Very interesting.

8:02 – “What makes a best friend, a best friend?” We are going deep here, people!

8:04 – “We don’t know what they think and feel. We only know what they do.” When you first read this you might think he is talking about women, but he’s actually talking about everyone.

8:08 – Dan the student is gonna do a monologue. This could get ugly. I have faith in him. Go Dan!

8:10 – “I’m not psychotic enough to think I’m George when I play George.”

8:32 – “Danny [student doing monologue], I’m gonna club you over the head with the microphone.”

8:37 – Almost time for Q&A.

8:38 – Before anyone could ask him, Jason said that he has no favorite episode of Seinfeld, but his favorite line is when asked about why he had relations with cleaning lady, he responded, “Was that wrong?”

9:00 – And another standing ovation to end it! That was sweet. Here is a video of some excerpts from the event.

Here are some of my favorite George moments.

5. George Costanza Does The Opposite

 

4. George Constanza’s Answer Machine

 

3. George Costanza routine

 

2. George Costanza on Lies

 

1. George Constanza Marine Biologist

 

 

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Game 3 of the Celtics-Knicks series at Madison Square Garden. Once again I’m doin the running blog/diary gimmick that my favorite write, Bill Simmons, does. All credit to him for this idea.

Pre-game: Um, the game is on ESPN so hopefully it won’t be Jeff Van Gundy, Mark Jackson and the other guy as the announcers. They are the worst.

Chauncey Billups is not playing. Amare Stoudemire is playing though. I don’t know if either of those are good for the Celtics.

Tip off!

11:48 – My roommate Kelly just left for California. I officially hate him. I’m now the only person at my house.

11:15 – Paul Pierce with the first points. He has the sexiest facial hair. That’s a fact.

10:28 – I wish Reggie Miller was in this game to grab his balls and give the choke sign.

9:45 – 6-0 Celtics with Pierce at the line. Turiaf fouled him. Is he the only active Gonzaga alum in the NBA? Why can’t Gonzaga get some decent dudes in the NBA?

9:15 – Remember how the Cavs could’ve had Stoudemire with Lebron at Cleveland last year, but instead they got Shaq? Great GM move.

9:10 – 9-0 start for the Celtics. Bill Simmons says Toney Douglas is one of those “Irrational Confidence” guys. I think Corbin is an irrational confidence guy when it comes to girls. Hey oh!

8:05 – 9-3 Celtics. 2 fouls on Turiaf! Represent. I hope Jermain O’neal punches Spike Lee right in the face.

7:23 – Knicks 1-7 with 4 turnovers. Great start for the Knicks!

6:46 – 12-3 Celtics. Here is a sweet Jeff Van Gundy highlight when he coached the Knicks.

6:12 – 12-5 Boston.

Commercial Break

5:55 –  16-5 Boston. Knicks are foulin like crazy. Me gusta.

5:32 – Mark Jackson has to be the most smug announcer ever. Give me Reggie Miller!

4:44 – 20-5 Celtics. Hey oh. I wish I knew more people from New York or people who liked NY so I could rub this in their faces.

3:07 – Delonte West will forever be known as the guy who not only owned a 3 wheel motorcycle dealie, but also got pulled over on it with like 8 guns in a guitar case. Gangsta.

Commercial

Apparently the new chicken tender from BK is like an iPhone? Also, a new Mortal Kombat game is coming out. Yes!

The last Knicks playoff win was approximately 345 years ago.

2:22 – Knicks making a mini run here. 22-13 Celtics.

1:46 – Is Delonte West white or black?

1:31 – Mark Jackson lets us know Rondo is the best Connect 4 player ever. That’s why they pay him the big bucks.

56 secs – 25-16 celtics.

20 secs – Spike Lee has a towel on? Or is that a cape?

End of the First Quarter.

Commercial for a Ford Truck. Must suck to own a truck right now with gas costing a kidney to fill up the tank.

Doc Rivers son is the #1 High School prospect. And he wants to destroy Lebron.

11:41 – Spike Lee with a towel on.

11:03 – 29-10 Celtics. Jeff Green at the line. Sucking.

9:55 – Amare with his first bucket. 29-24 Boston.

9:10 – Bill Walker learns to shoot between last game and this game.

8:03 – An ugly couple of plays. 34-29 Boston.

Commercial

Some girl downloads Gulliver’s Travel on Verizon 4G?  Does she know it’s not about vampires?

For the longest time I didn’t know Stuart Scot had a lazy eye.

7:59 – If you know a ref’s name then he isn’t doing his job correctly aka Joey Crawford.

7:29 – From the fake Bill Walton on Twitter “When taking a shot Ray Allen meditates momentarily, harnessing a higher percentage of his brain power before breaking the laws of gravity.”

6:48 – 10 Turnovers by the Celtics.

6:33 – Doesn’t Melo know you can only wear one sleeve?

5:59 – sexy rebounding and ball handling by Rondo. 40-30 Boston.

Commercial

Domino’s wants me to send in part of the box? I’m not gonna do that. Dumb idea.

5:04 – Knicks with a couple of baskets. 40-35 Boston.

4:21 – Anthony was out of bounds. Jeff Van Gundy agrees with me. He’s still annoying.

3:44 – 42-35 Celtics. Rondo and Williams playin dodgeball.

2:40 – Crazy passin and ball handling by Rondo. 46-37 Celtics.

Commercial

I CAN’T WAIT TIL FAST AND FURIOUS 5 COMES OUT!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why would you take your phone skydiving? Seems risky to me.

2:27 – 47-37 Boston. 11 points for Melo and 3 for Stoudemire.

1:16 – Allen for 3!

36 secs – 52-42 Boston. Knicks with the stand around defense. I love it.

17 secs – Foul on Jermaine. I just got a Facebook notification for someone else gettin married. Who gets married?

2 secs – Foul on Jefferies at the end of the half. Smart foul!

Here is a sweet vid that I posted on my friend, Jordan Baker’s, facebook wall.

Halftime

Ok, I love Chris Mullin. He is awesome, but he is the worst studio commentator. Jalen Rose is also kinda annoying. So, is Stuart Scot. I need Ernie, Kenny and Charles!

Mel Kiper is a weirdo.

How does ESPN not get any good in studio commentators? The Mothership needs to get its act together.

HAHAHA Mullin just called Chris Paul “Christopher Paul”. No need to be so formal, Guile.

If any ladies are reading this, come over and hang out with me. Thank you.

Worst thing happened this morning. I wake up at 7 to watch Dan Patrick Show and it was a re-run. Worst ever. You know how much of a sacrifice it is for me to get up that early?!

@TheBillWalton on twitter (fake Bill Walton, but hilarious) says “Dwight Howard brings to mind Fezzik from ‘Princess Bride’, able to defeat a small army alone but when played 1 on 1 his power is neutralized” I love this Twitter account.

Does Kenny Mayne do any actual reporting anymore? Or does he just stick to acting like an idiot 100% of the time?

Like a good neighbor state farm is there…..with a bunch of hot chicks that love me…..and some chicken wings.

The only Atlanta Hawks fan I know, Roman Daniels-Brown, needs to will his team to win this game between Atlanta and Orlando.

Melo has the worst mustache.

Start of 3rd Quarter

11:35 – Allen has 5 3’s tonight. 55-44 Boston.

11:02 – Mark Jackson clearly is jealous of Rondo’s skills.

10:08 – Ray Allen fouls Turiaf. Allen hardly ever complains after a foul. That’s why I love him.

9:34 – Mike Diantoni is about to have a brain aneurysm due to the Knicks lack of D. 58-50 Boston.

9:01 – Paul Pierce is lighting someone up. Melo?

8:42 – 63-50 Celtics. Timeout New York. Me gusta.

Commercial

“Jumping the Broom” looks like a great movie. Can’t wait til it comes out so I can spend $8 watching it in theater.

8:25 – Jermain O’Neal clotheslines Douglas.

8:13 – Ray Allen runs around 5 miles a game. Garnett with the J. 65-52 Boston.

7:25 – Old Rondo is on the court today with 12 assists.  69-54 Celts.

6:27 – I am gonna play some Starcraft 2 tonight. Fyi.

5:37 – 73-56 Celts. Allen fouls Melo cause his mustache is disgusting.

5:10 – Boston is dominating right meow.

4:28- Mike Breen has told us about 8 times that Boston is putting on a clinic.

3:42 – 77-56 Boston. The clinic continues.

3:26 – What is more disgusting: Dog poop or Melo’s mustache?

2:49 – Foul on Jeff Green. Timeout.

Commercial

Charlie Murphy is the voice for one of those talking basketballs. Charlie Murphy!!!!!!! Unity! What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP!

Hawks are leading the Magic right now. Roman is willing them!

2:24 – Mike D’Antoni has a black man’s voice.

1:45  – 82-61 Boston.

40 secs – Ray Allen is 9-15 with 26 pts.

4 secs – Rondo messed around and got a triple double….Ice Cube style.

Commercial

Mark Jackson last person with a triple-double against the Knicks in the playoffs.

11:41 – 86-65 Boston. Yawn.

11:14 – Ok, how can I get Michelle Beadle to marry me? Send me your ideas.

10:08 – Lisa grilling David Stern on the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Sheesh.

9:30 – Boston’s bench sucks so we got to keep the starters in.

8:56 – 88-72 Boston. Fields at the line. Sucking.

8:44- Knicks refuse to guard Pierce. Great idea.

Commercial

Here is a link to some sweet NBA shirts online.

8:14 – Melo on the bench. Nice.

7:33 – @EricStangel tweets “On court for Knicks- Douglas, Fields, Jeffries, Walker, Williams. Guess D’Antoni isn’t looking to make a comeback”

7:00 – Allen hits a three. Yawn.

6:44 – 96-76 boston. Bring on Miami.

3:45 – Boston has 13 3’s tonight. Most have been wide open.

Commercial

Tyler Perry needs to die or something. He is ruining the planet with his crappy comedies (movies and tv shows). They are horrible. STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m done blogging. Switch over to the Hawks-Magic game. This game is over. Thanks for reading! Tell your friends about me!

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Butler-Uconn

Tonight I’m gonna be doing a running blog of the Men’s Basketball National Championship game. This is something my favorite writer, Bill Simmons, does.

Pre-game: Coach Jim Calhoun is giving his UConn Huskies a little pre-game speech. I wonder how old white dudes relate to young black men?

Shots of the Butler band. Being a cheerleader or in the band has got to be a sweet gig for these college kids. Travelling around for free for a month getting to watch sweet basketball.

Leann Rimes (or however you spell her name) is singing the national anthem. Best national anthem singer for me is the dude that sings the national anthem for the Chicago Blackhawks. Here is a link. Skip forward to 1:50.

Player introductions. You know they are spittin on their hands.

Meanwhile, BYU fans are wondering who is gonna get Jimmered tonight.

I got to pee! Be right back!

Tipoff

 

UConn gets the tipoff and scores first 2-0 Huskies.

18:49 – Butler answers with a 3 ball. Butler is lookin good. 3 white dudes starting. I don’t know if that’s good or not.

17:33 – Playing in a stadium supposedly throws off their shooting. I know when I play in big churches that throws my shooting off…..

17:06 – 3-4 UConn! We got a barn burner!

16:31 – Lot of missed shots here to open up.

(Did anyone notice that they switched cameras at the start? They had UConn going to our right and then Butler going to our right. Threw me off.)

Commercial Break! I’m thinkin about buying a Buick and killing those Coke Zero guys.

Butler is 1-5 from 3 point land. The amount of white guys on floor is directly proportionate to the amount of three pointers shot.

15:40 – 3-4 still. UConn up by 2 half points.

15:15 – Howard from Butler with the 3 ball. The arm holes for his jersey are entirely too big.

14:09 – 6-8 UConn.

13:19 – Howard fouled and he misses his first shot. Nobody is making jack crap.

12:59 – Kemba Walker answers with a 3. He’s gonna be a lottery pick! (idk)

12:34 – Kemba goes to the line. Is there a large standing room only area at each end of the court? aka suckiest seats ever.

12:19 – Kemba goes to the bench for the first time in the last 4 games.

Commercial. 9 – 13 UConn. Dr. Dre makes computers? How about he comes out with another CD instead. Exxplosive!

I need to ask a girl on a date so I can take her to see that Hop movie so that we for sure won’t have a 2nd date.

11:45 – Buttler has 1 fg in last 7 minutes. Not a good stat. I’ve picked my nose 6 times in that period. That is a good stat.

10:44 – Approximately 763 missed shots so far in this game.

9:50 – Jim Nantz is pronouncing UConn’s Nored as Norad. I love it when Norad has the Santa tracker.

9:04 – UConn goes over the foul limit. Meanwhile Survivor is still on the air? Take that crap off already. 12-13 UConn.

8:45 – Facebook friend Jared Bates says Butler coach Brad Stevens looks like Rick Moranis. A sexy Rick Moranis….which is basically redundant.

8:14 – tie game at 13! I told you it was gonna be a barn burner.

7:13 – Jimmer for 3!!! or some other white dude for Butler.

6:44 – Time out! Butler up by 1. Commercial. If I have to see these Coke Zero idiots slap each other one more time…I’m gonna hit my roommate Corbin Earl as hard as I can in the face.

Remember when Alec Baldwin used to stop nuclear wars by boarding submarines and chummin it up with the Ruskies? Those were the days.

Pat Forde for espn.com telling me via twitter that they are shooting a combined 11 for 43. Wow.

6:11 – 16-19 UConn.

5:32 – Howard can’t hit anything.

4:47 – Don’t worry. Everyone is still missin shots.

3:59 – Butler scores. It’s 19-19. This game will be lucky to break 60 points. I’ve drank a half a gallon of water for some reason so I have to pee again. Brb!

Like a good neighbor state farm is there! With Jimmer scoring and making this game watchable!

Apparently I need to go golfing more cause thats where all the hot ladies are.

Sooo can anyone else not wait to see Fast and the Furious 5???

3:39 – Tim Cowlishaw tweets “Uconn trying to become first team to win championship game with more rebounds than points?” Umm yes.

3:21 – Jim Nantz says teams are shooting a combined 28%. That’s what I’ve been getting on my Spanish tests lately.

2:46 – 19-19 still. You got to be kidding me. I’ve seen higher scores in hockey games.

1:47 – Naismith award coming out at halftime! That means we got Jimmer in the house!!

1:04 – UConn is gonna hold it so they can get the last missed shot.

Mack with the BUZZER BEATER!!!!!!

22-19 going into the half. Is Brad Stevens single?? Can’t wait to hear what Chuck has to say on this game.

Uconn trying to become first team to win championship game with more rebounds than points?

Halftime

Buffalo wild wings with old football commercials during a basketball game. Classy. Like a good neighbor state farm is there with a hot girl and some hot wings! IT WORKED!!

Butler shoots 22% in the first half.

Sweet Dodge Challenger commercial. hahahaha That was the high point to this game so far.

Nobody told me the Rock is in the Fast Five movie! This is the 13th best day of my life.

Greg Anthony comes right out of the gate saying this is the worst half of basketball he’s seen in a championship game ever. Hey! Keep your opinion to yourself!

Seth Davis seconds Greg Anthony’s motion that this game sucks.

Kenny lets us know there are two halves in this game. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Butler made 6 FGs says Chuck. Not a lot to break down in this game. Combined shooting percentage is less than 26%. Maybe they should lower the hoops?

Siegfried and Jensen commercials creep me out. Just saying.

Jimmer! Jimmer! Jimmer! How about they bring Jimmer out and he gets to be all time offense? He doesn’t really play defense anyway.

Chuck with the shoutout to Jimmer!

Barkley compares the game to dating ugly chicks. I know what you mean Chuck.

Holly Robinson Peete was on Hanging with Mr. Cooper, one of my favorite black sitcoms alongside Family Matters and none of Tyler Perry’s crap.

I need a Cadbury Creme egg. Stat.

Game on snitches!

Uconn trying to become first team to win championship game with more rebounds than points?

19:30 – Butler with the quick 2 to go up 23-19. I just ate a can of tuna straight out of the can. It’s official. I’m poor.

18:50 – 25-21. I must’ve missed some scoring in there.

18:28 – Kemba with the 2.

17:37 – Uconn goes up 26-25. Finally peeps are scoring.

16:47 – sloppy play. kinda makes me want sloppy joes. Too bad I started this running blog or I would’ve probably changed the channel by now.

16:19 – hot girl behind the UConn bench. Stay tuned for further details.

15:54 – Butler is never gonna score in the paint. They are 1 for 17 on 2 point shots right now. Ouch.

Coaches wives aren’t the hottest I’ve ever seen. I’m sure their personalities are great though!

15:30 – UConn goes up 29-26.

14:41 – For the love of all that is good please start making shots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

side note: When is Tiger Woods going to be good again?

13:45 – Jim Nantz informing me that Butler has missed last 11 shots. This is fugly. Fantastically ugly.

Butler has zero points in the paint. 1 for 14 this half. Only down 5. Amazing beans.

12:50 – Lamb of Uconn lighting it up…for this game. Butler 7 for 41 from the field. That’s like a Kobe Bryant stat. hey oh!

11:51 – I feel like UConn is running away with it and they are up 33-28.

11:50 – 35-28 Uconn. My fingers smell weird from the tuna I ate. I need to wash them.

11:07 – Lamb is going to town. AHHH I thought for sure that big white dude was gonna make that lay in. Just not Butler’s night apparently.

10:05 -” UConn is on a roll. A Finger roll” Great announcing Nantz.

9:40 – Those rims are like the ones at carnival games.

9:20 – Uconn fouls a half a mile away from the basket.

8:38 – CBS puts on a poor shooting highlight reel. That’s basically every shot.

7:37 – I seriously wonder if Butler will ever score in the paint. 41-28 Uconn.

6:19 – It happened!!!!!!!!!! They scored down low!!!!!

Commercial. If you don’t got an iPhone then you suck. Classic snoody iPhone marketing. Good thing I got an iPhone though.

Hot girl sighting in student section. Developing story.

5:26 – Butler down by 14. I feel like this game is over seeing how they hardly scored that much in the first half.

5:11 – My idol Bill Simmons just tweeted “April, 2011: the month that women’s college basketball caught up to men’s college basketball.” Sad day. No offense ladies.

3:17 – Anything else going on tonight?

Commercial. King Speech has a pg-13 version? That’s kinda weird.

3:01 – Sometimes I hear swear words. I’m just waiting for a super loud F bomb.

2:08 – ESPN Steve Levy just tweeted that Butler is shooting 18%. Man oh man.

1:50 – How can these teams be shooting this bad? Whoa. Butler down by 8.

55 secs – Suckiest game I ever watched minus every single intramural game I’ve ever seen.

16 secs – Can’t wait for Nantz final call.

“Huskies are the top dog”. Did someone just get shot?

Uconn wins but this will just be vacated when Jim Calhoun gets investigated.

Thanks for all that followed! Long Live Jimmer!

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So one of my favorite sports writers (Bill Simmons a.k.a The Sports Guy) sometimes does a “Running Blog” of certain games. I don’t know if this is plagiarism or not, but I’m going to do the same thing this game. I hope you all enjoy it.

Pre-Game Show

Stuart Scot is running the pre-game show and is accompanied by Mike Wilbon, JB aka Jon Barry and Mr. NBA himself, Jerry West. Last game they had Bill Russell in the guest spot (West is there this game). Russell reminded me of one of those old people that you always feel awkward to be around because you never know if they are gonna same something that will offend all those in the room.

(Side note: West is the GM for the Grizzlies and he is the one that traded Gasol to the Lakers for whatever was in the Lakers’ GM’s pocket (which was a paper clip, lint, 2 nickels and a penny).)

Ok, no more blogging until the game actually starts.

David Cook sucked at singing the National Anthem, but he is still cooler than David Archuleta.

They just got done showing the little video they show before they do the starting lineups. It got me thinking. Whenever I think of The Lakers, I think of dirty, nasty and immoral. Wilt the Stilt supposedly slept with 20,000 women, Magic got AIDS from sleeping around and Kobe was charged with rape. I know that other teams are just as bad, but that is what comes to my mind. Dirty.

THIS IS CHAMPIONSHIP BASKETBALL!!!! (I wonder how many times I’ll hear that tonight).

11:20 Celtics know how to pass. I’m lovin it.

10:55 Odom with the first foul. I wonder if Jackson is gonna whine about that.

10:18 Pau Gasol is one ugly mo fo. How come all NBA players sport the nasty, scraggly facial hair nowadays? Check out Paul Pierce and Pau Gasol for example.

9:38 Pierce seriously ran out of bounds all the way up to the 2nd Tier. I thought he was gonna pull a Ron Artest on some peeps.

7:53 Celtics are foulin and Garnett is missin lots of shots. Not a good start for the Celtics.

7:32 So I guess that the Lakers are going to get all the calls today since Fisher just got away with shoving Ray Allen out of the way on the way to get a loose ball. 2-9 Lakers.

7:19 I wonder what bizarre argument Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson are going to get into tonight.

5:16 Perkins reminds me of Danny Lawson. I even think they look alike, besides the obvious skin color difference.

4:00 I almost forgot that Kobe is perfect and never commits errors or fouls. My bad.

2:36 The Celtics are scrappers. They fight for every loose ball. The Lakers do too, but they decide to go after the loose ball just a hair too late. It’s like they are hopin the Celts are just gonna let it roll out of bounds, and when they see that isn’t what is gonna happen, then they run after it.

Garnett also has nasty facial hair. And he is 0 for 5. Big Three 1 for 12.

1:00 Sam Cassell = Ugliest Person in LA right now.

End of 1st quarter. 20-20.

How did anyone get the go ahead to make another Hulk movie?

Orlando is running an ad to get season tickets with your stimulus check. I would get Celtics tickets if I lived in Boston, but I live in Utah and have to settle with the Jazz. I actually root against the Jazz in everyone of their games. I hate them and the color purple.

2nd Quarter

11:30 Odom 0 points and 3 fouls. Yes!!

10:00 Lakers are finally starting to scrap for the ball. We got 2 Bill Walton impressions already tonight. Things are lookin bad for the Celtics.

9:50 WHOA!!!! PJ Brown almost knocked Famar’s head right off his (Farmar’s) shoulders.

A 2nd Hulk AND a 2nd HellBoy??!! What is going on in Hollywood?!?! Next we are going to be seeing a Wild, Wild West 2 and a Driven 2.

8:00 Mark Jackson just commented that Kobe Bryant has played every second of this half so far. WELL HE FRICKEN BETTER!!!!!!! He isn’t getting paid millions of dollars to suck, unlike half of the NBA.

7:12 Garnett 0-7. Dangit.

6:23 Apparently we are going to start calling Traveling now. Lakers ball.

5:57 Garnett just about cracked his skull against the rim on an alley-oop play.

5:00 Garnett 1-9

3:57 Ray Allen can’t guard Kobe Bryant. He’s just too old and Bryant is too quick.

3:02 DANNY LAWSON….err….Perkins with the Slam.

1:49 Ray Allen couldn’t play any worse defense tonight. Whoever is shooting is at the peak of their shot when he is just thinking about jumping up to get a hand in their face.

:40 34-43 Lakers……TV Timeout. Someone just ate a 5 dollar bill. What if they ate 20 quarters? That’d be sweet.

End of the HALFFFFFFFFF. 37 Celtics, 43 Lakers
I am not a fan of Michael Jordan, but how can they even compare Kobe Bryant to MJ??!?! I don’t even want to get into statistics…….but seriously. He would be the closest though…..post-MJ.

I need them for my footsies. I text Jordan, Martin and Riley every time I see that commercial. I know they love it. oh… oh oh…..I just found out that Dwayne is in Chuck’s fav five. He’s so lucky.

Start of the 3rd Quarter

11:16 Rondo hurts his ankle. Crapper.
Commercial. M. Night Shamasdlfaksdfasd has a rated R movie……who cares?

8:11 Lakers crowd doesn’t hold a candle to the Celtics crowd. P.S. What would we do without the sideline reporters? Seriously.

Cuba Gooding Jr. went from winning Oscars to doing Hanes commercials. Come on now?! This man was the star of Radio!!!

5:47 Garnett with the jump hook to tie the game.
Do Lakers fans even care about who wins?

So I’m just sitting in my hotel room in Florida watching the game by myself. It’s kind of pathetic, but rad at the same time. I walked to the closest 7-11 before the game and bought some milk, oreos, potato chips and some dip. That is about the only food I’ve eaten all day. There was almost a tornado here earlier today, also. Jealous? You should be.

Does anyone not survive Japanese game shows? But really…….do people die? I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

4:17 Odom with his first FG of the game. Congratulations Odom.

3:18 Boston 56, Lakers 52

This is a long blog. I will be surprised if anyone reads it.

These commentators are a bunch of clowns. haha you seriously have to hear the crap that they talk about. Talking about Nick Lachey and Alyssa Milano. WTF?

end of the 3rd Quarter!!!!!!!!!!

11:35 Vujacic or however you spell it just put the Lakers up.

11:25 Ray Allen with the three right in Odom’s grill. Once again Odom is dominating!!!!

10:08 Both teams (with the exception of Kobe) are playing like poop. They are sloppy and are missing a lot of foul shots. Making crappy passes. Taking off balance shots.

9:36 Odom with the offensive foul!!! I love this guy. What a stud.

9:00 Farmar just flopped to get the charge. I got no problem with that anymore I guess. I used to get super pissed. Now I just take it as part of the game. Next year, though, they are supposedly going to fine big time floppers. Sucks to be you GINOBLI.

8:00 I’ve officially eaten half a carton/thing of oreos and half a bag of potato chips. MMMMMm

7:59 Jeff van Gundy is crazy. He is going off about how he gets charged full price for a hair cut and he is bald. Cut your own hair then you friggen carnie!!!

6:54 Bryant got the ball up top, all alone, for about 5 seconds and then hit the three. Nobody ran out to guard him. It’s Kobe Bryant people!!! Mark Jackson makes a good point that the last time he was that open it was when he was in the gym by himself the day before. Nice comment Marcus.

5:13 Pau and Odom have decided to actually play now. Sucks for the Celtics.

4:02 Pau Gasol = Tom Green + Daniel Stern

3:22 I honestly think that Kobe Bryant believes he never fouls anyone. Seriously. He about cries every time he gets hit with a foul. I mean he about knocked over Pierce, got called for a foul, then stomped around the court yelling. He almost got hit with another T and that would’ve taken him out of the game. What a team player.

2:58 I just laughed out loud cause Gasol threw the ball at the shot clock.

1:53 Lakers just hit a three. They are up by 5. Dagnabit.

1:33 Fisher hits his first free throw. And 2nd. Give Odom the ball!!!

:38 HOW IS RAY ALLEN GOING TO GUARD KOBE 1 ON 1?!?!?!?!?! Come on Doc. Holy crap.

I farted and it stinks.

:21 Offensive foul on Garnett. Game over. LAkers are up by 6.

:6 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Odom is the fricken man. They basically give him an open shot and he gets a foul. He’s the man.

Game Over.

Well, that sucks. Celtics played like crap. Kobe played good. Odom should be wearing green cause he is so awesome. I am going to bed. Peace

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