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It’s the year 2011. Humanity has been taken over by robots. They control our thoughts and actions. Some have broken free of their control and have formed a resistance group. Those few brave souls call themselves the Granolas.

Ahh the Granolas. A peculiar group of people that love nature, wearing “weird” clothes (chacos, hiking pants, other outdoor gear, etc. Apparently grandpa Carhart jeans are gaining popularity with them also) in urban areas, driving subarus, not knowing how to use complex technological devices like computers and calculators and light switches. They usually travel in groups and talk about climbing and camping. The granola men seemed to be malnourished for they are about 60 lbs lighter than the “normal” man. The granola women don’t usually paint their faces.

This band of rebels has been flying under the radar for quite sometime. You might ask, why haven’t the robots been able to infiltrate their ranks? The Granolas adhere to a strict code of “trying to be cool by acting not cool”. This allows them to not use technology like the rest of the world while still being able to be “cool”. (We all know that being cool is in the eye of the beholder–except Granolas. They don’t know that.)

They have established places of refuge where they can meet and plan their attacks on the machine controlled world. REI and climbing gyms are their strongholds. The leaders(the rich) occupy Patagonia stores and other such “retail outlets”. Waiting. Watching. Plotting.

If you are unsure whether or not someone is a Granola, check their feet for weird Chaco tanlines. You can also smell their armpits. Granolas don’t use deodorant. Except some girl Granolas. They will use men’s deodorant to be more musky and manly.

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Last Leg of the Trip

Went to Phantom of the Opera last night. Wouldn’t it be sweet if it had a different ending each time? One time the Christine could kill Raul while he sleeps and go live with the Phantom. Another time the Phantom could die while battling Raul in a sword fight (we all know that could never happen though because the Phantom does 300 pushups a day). For a show that runs non stop basically, you would think that they would/could spice it up a little bit.

The show was pretty awesome. Quin didn’t want to fork out the money at first because he had been saving up to buy a whole Patagonia outfit, but in the end he decided that “money aint a thang.” Whatever that means.

As we walk in we read a sign that says “No Photography” and an Usheress (it’s Usheress right? Also, why did the singer Usher pick the name Usher?) informing everyone not to take pictures. I immediately started scheming on how I could take pictures without getting caught. I take like 2 pictures without getting caught and get bored and start adhering to the rules again. Rebellion is no fun if nobody notices.

We watch the show and I ask Quin what he thinks of it. He remarks, “It would’ve been sweeter had we just walked in from the rain and a girl had sat on the ground, taken off her shoes, and wrung them out on the carpet like a homeless person.” I don’t understand half of the stuff he ever says. He then goes on to say it was sweet and that it was “visually stunning”. He’s still not making sense.

On the way back to our hotel in the most ghetto area of Vegas, I purchase and eat a Cinnabon. This is very important because Cinnabons are delicious.

Moral of the story: Always eat Cinnabons and you will be skinny, healthy and beautiful.

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I’ve been up to some road tripping again. Don’t be jealous that I can pick up and leave at a moments notice, married people. It’s not that glorious. But it is somewhat entertaining. Maybe a little bit irresponsible? Also, just a tad bit sexy.

The theme song of this road trip has been “How Deep Is Your Love” by the Bee Gees. It keeps Quin going strong in this time of upheaval and turmoil. Oh, Quin is my road trip friend. I also work with him at Anasazi. He’s a private man so I won’t be expounding on him and his personal endeavors.

We left for LA area this past Thursday after getting off the trail. Each of us packed one bag full of clothes and electronics. The only personal hygiene products were our toothbrushes, toothpaste and deodorant. We only shower once a week so no need to worry about all that garbage. Showering is for the weak anyway. Samson didn’t shower and he was awesome.

We drove to the LA area and met up with Danielle. She and her folks treated us nicely. Quin was educated on relationships from watching “When Harry Met Sally”.

The next day we jetted on up to the Bay Area to attend some sideshows and pay homage to the kings of Ghost Ridin the Whip. Hung out with Quin’s awesome family. Slept on their couch. Hit up San Fran town while watching the Blue Angels pwn the blue sky. Then we left on Sunday after going to 3 hours of church.

We drove into the night until about 12:30 am when Quin pulled over right outside of Vegas. We were just going to sleep in the car in a residential neighborhood until I thought I booked us a hotel in the ghettoest area of Vegas. I started the Neon up and headed over there to find a spot to park. (Sidenote: We ran out of gas on the I-5. Luckily we were by an exit with a gas station. I’ve probably ran out of gas like 15 times in the past 4 years. I am a pro at it.) We parked in a parking garage and walked around looking for the hotel. We were greeted by a friendly man in a wheel chair dressed like a 70’s pimp. Maybe he was a pimp? We continued to walk around encountering all types of drunks and weird looking people, something not normal for a night in Vegas.

We found the hotel and I had booked it for the wrong day so we decided to try out some sketchy motels and even a hostel. Finally, we decided to park in a residential neighborhood and sleep in the car.

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Beardalicious

Since I spend a good majority of my time away from society, I have decided to grow a beard. Yeah. I’m focusing all my energy that I had previously focused on dating to growing a beard. A beard will appreciate me for who I am inside anyway. It won’t treat me like a piece of meat! Now, I have attempted to do this many times before and have come pretty close to growing what could be defined as a beard.

My beard at its peak (2010).........until now.

As you can see in exhibit A that beard isn’t that sweet. I have a cousin named Jake who grows a sweet beard. May I present to the jury Exhibit B.

Jake using all his willpower not to kill a speaker in church.

This is Jake and his beard is beyond awesome (and this isn’t even the peak of this beard’s awesomeness). Now Jake and I have some of the same genes so I know I can achieve beard nirvana one day. The key is to have patience and lots of manliness running through my veins like a stampede of wild buffalo aka tatanka.

I was feeling my beard today while thinking about all the potential it has and day dreaming about what it one day may become, just as a father thinks about what his child will grow to be in the future. My beard is my child. My legacy. My hope. My glory. As I pondered, the heavens opened up and this is what I saw:

Half-Mexican Leonidas or Half-Mexican Osama bin Laden. You choose.

Anyway. So I was pondering on the great eternal question “how can my beard be the best that it can be?” when I decided to consult the person that knows everything–the internet. The internet sent me to a couple sites that enlightened me to a better way of being.

The first site was The Beard Coach. I learned a lot about the importance of beards in society and the role they play in helping the average person distinguish between lame-o’s and super awesome manly dudes. The author is politically active and has written the president about how beards can help this country. There are also some rad pics of beards from recent beard contests.

The second site was www.biggerbetterbeards.org which lists 10 reasons why we should grow big beards. I really like number 7 the most because I love and care my friends (and family). I just want them to be safe and that is part of the reason I have undertaken this challenge to grow a bigger better beard. I just want my friends to be able to see their future children and look them in the eyes and tell them they love them.

Third site from Esquire gives us classification of different types of facial hair. Kingdom, phylum/division, class, order, family, genus, species. We need to know these things to be able to group and categorize beards by biological type. It’s for humanity’s own good.

The last site is beards.org. A great site that has tips on how to groom and color your beard, success stories, questions and galleries of beards.

Now, all of you guys that can’t grow beards and think that people might think you’re less manly–its ok. You are less manly, but you can overcome that by lying to everyone and saying you are Native American. They are bad A and they can’t grow facial hair.

Crazy Horse will kill you if you mess with him......and he doesn't even have a beard.

Let us all join hands and pray that my beard will turn out as I envisioned. Thank you.

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Howdy

I just got done reading my mom’s blog and then my dad’s blog and I thought that I should get back into the writing game.

I guess I enjoy blogging so people know a little about what goes on in my head and what I am up to in my life. Also, it’s a little therapeutic being able to type stuff out. Helps me reflect on what I am doing with my life.

I moved to Arizona a couple weeks ago. I didn’t really tell too many people. I don’t really know why I didn’t, but that is how things worked out. I moved down here to work for the Anasazi Foundation. Here is the link if you are interested in finding out what they do. I’ll give you a hint: It’s a wilderness survival therapy program.

Enough of that. I live in Mesa town and it’s fairly warm here. It has only snowed 8 times since I’ve been here so that’s a plus.

Just kiddin about the snow.

I don’t have a TV here and I didn’t have internet for the first little bit so that has given me a little bit more time to use my brain that I would had I had those things available to me. Sometimes I hate using my brain because that requires me to actually be a person rather than a drone that just goes through life not accomplishing much.

Due to the recent brain activity that has been going on inside my skull, I’ve been able to ponder on a lot of important things in my life. One of those things is relationships that I have with people. I was able to attend an Arbinger Institute meeting/seminar/lecture/all of the above about 2 weeks ago that kind of laid out how relationships with people work. Now, I’m not talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about just day to day interactions we have with family members, friends, acquaintances, strangers, neighbors, dudes, homies, enemies, chicks, etc. The Arbinger Institute was founded by a cat named C. Terry Warner. Maybe you’ve heard of him, maybe you haven’t. Anywho. Basically it talked about how we can view people as objects or as actual people.

Now, when I say we view people as objects, what I mean is that we can view them as an obstacle in our path, or a vehicle to what we want to get, or just plain insignificant. When we view them as people, we recognize that they have fears, hopes, needs, etc. I don’t want to get too deep into this so I can safely say that those are the basics. The distinction is deeper than the behavior too. For example, I can compliment someone in order to make them feel good or I can compliment someone in order to get something out of it.

I feel that too often I try to be nice to people in order to benefit myself. It ain’t honest and it ain’t right. Maybe those people don’t take it that way, but in my own heart I know I’m wrong. I just want you all to know that I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to do better at treating you like people instead of objects. Just let me know when I’m messin up! Gracias, obgrigado and thanks.

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First post!

I’m on WordPress now, snitches. Tyler Winterton inspired me. I kinda copied his blog design too. I hope he doesn’t get mad. Mostly I don’t care what he thinks though.

My ribs are basically healed. I went out and played some indoor soccer tonight with about every Hightower family member that ever existed. We lost, but we’ll probably be pwning some noobs in the near future.

I’ll probably be posting more in the near future on various topics. I’m sure you all care.

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Slide Away

Fractured ribs. Still eatin lots of grapefruits. Is it possible to eat too many? Probably, but I doubt that’ll happen to me.

Michael Earl and I went and volunteered at the MTC this week. It’s pretty nostalgic being there and listening to the missionaries try to fight their way through a lesson using very broken Spanish and horrible teaching skills, but they are trying. I was Carlos, the inactive member who felt that the ward members didn’t know he existed.

Two sister missionaries taught me. One from Phoenix and one from Evanston, Wyoming, both going to the New York City South Mission.

One more thing, how annoying are all these BYU fans with the Jimmer idolizing? I mean, please don’t ruin a good thing people. First All-American in years and these zoobies try their hardest to make Jimmer uncool. I love Jimmer. He’s awesome (at basketball), but stupid BYUers acting like they actually like Jimmer when in reality they just think it’s funny to take things overboard, is unacceptable. Do that with Di Luigi or someone like that, but don’t do it with Jimmer and make BYU look like idiots to the rest of the nation. Thank you.

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