It’s the year 2011. Humanity has been taken over by robots. They control our thoughts and actions. Some have broken free of their control and have formed a resistance group. Those few brave souls call themselves the Granolas.
Ahh the Granolas. A peculiar group of people that love nature, wearing “weird” clothes (chacos, hiking pants, other outdoor gear, etc. Apparently grandpa Carhart jeans are gaining popularity with them also) in urban areas, driving subarus, not knowing how to use complex technological devices like computers and calculators and light switches. They usually travel in groups and talk about climbing and camping. The granola men seemed to be malnourished for they are about 60 lbs lighter than the “normal” man. The granola women don’t usually paint their faces.
This band of rebels has been flying under the radar for quite sometime. You might ask, why haven’t the robots been able to infiltrate their ranks? The Granolas adhere to a strict code of “trying to be cool by acting not cool”. This allows them to not use technology like the rest of the world while still being able to be “cool”. (We all know that being cool is in the eye of the beholder–except Granolas. They don’t know that.)
They have established places of refuge where they can meet and plan their attacks on the machine controlled world. REI and climbing gyms are their strongholds. The leaders(the rich) occupy Patagonia stores and other such “retail outlets”. Waiting. Watching. Plotting.
If you are unsure whether or not someone is a Granola, check their feet for weird Chaco tanlines. You can also smell their armpits. Granolas don’t use deodorant. Except some girl Granolas. They will use men’s deodorant to be more musky and manly.